So today, the Man has finally convinced me to buy a bike.
He cycles everywhere, for everything, and therefore has quadriceps in places where other people don't have places.
I use either a bus or a cab, and therefore have places in places where one should not have places.
The bike is his way of getting me moving and my way of falling onto the roadside gasping, narrowly missing oncoming traffic.
Regular updates here. I plan to view this as an adventure - in, you know, the sense of being handed the Red Pill and being unable to choose anything but taking it. Might as well do so gamely.
In case this is important to you - my new contraption is white and very sleek, has gears and great brakes (enough to make me sail over the handlebars, I've been warned. THIS HAD BETTER NOT HAPPEN.) I used it to transport myself from cycle shop to house via park and now have jelly in places where I used to have places.