In lieu of a camera,

Here's a picture of my day.

A walk around Colchester at noon. Pub lunch wherein we sat at a tiny table tucked away right at the very back, invisible to almost everyone. Good, wholesome babies-about-town, we ate fish and chips, lots of salad and downed big pint glases of orange juice. Very healthful all around. Wilkinsons next, where Bryan Adams was crooning something or the other about nights to remember, and where we bitched about everything in the home/furnishings department. Nesting season approaches, it's just around the corner of the next birthday, I can feel it. Yikes. Then a walk down the back path and a sharp turn into the park. Two firsts:
Instead of just waltzing through, we sat on a bench. And we saw, we saw:
- Seagulls whirling above the walls of the castle
- A starling, singing it's heart out on the weather vane
- Packs of 13 year olds. Apparently this is the hangout de jour. And apparently it is de jour to either couple up (tightly) or hide your head in shame. All of them, shiny happy people in love, all over each other. Poor sweethearts. I wanted to warn them. Lucky kids! I think I am constatly trying to return to that 13-year-old-love feeling myself.
- Squirrels. Up close and personal. They took nuts out of Mark's hands. I will always remember this: The boy looked like a blushing-cheeked wood spirite in the sun. He was croutching on the side of the path, holding out almonds and pecans and walnuts and hazelnuts and they were taking them out of his hand. I tried it too but got scared at the last minute. They made me wait for ages before getting up the nerve to approach me. They just ran up to him and took the nuts out of his fingers. People were stopping to watch. My pink cheeked woodsprite in the sun, feeding squirrels. The only thing that prevents it from being nauseating is: I saw it.

A day for tiny joys, billowing up against each other, the kind that send you to sleep with a soul strained full of smiles.
Thank you, universe.

haha..

Your result for The Lover Style Profile Test...

The Liberated Lover

64% partner focus, 62% aggressiveness, 80% adventurousness

Based on the results of this test, it is highly likely that:



You prefer your romance and love to wild and daring rather than typical or boring, you would rather pursue than be pursued and, when it comes to physical love, your satisfaction comes more from providing a wonderful time to your partner than simply seeking your own.



This places you in the Lover Style of: The Liberated Lover.



The Liberated Lover is a wonderful Lover Style, and forms the kind of free-thinking, sexually-exciting, self-confident lover that society once condemned but that a liberal-mind cherishes and exults. The Liberated Lover is a treasure to find, though it can sometimes be difficult to do so because they are often already engaged in relationships or are in high-demand if "in the market."



In terms of physical love, the Liberated Lover is possibly the most thrilling and demanding of all, with the one potential drawback being that it is possible to feel 'overmatched' at times by their prowess and selfless giving. Given trust and understanding, and the right lover, the Liberated Lover can be a delight in bed.



Best Compatibility can probably be found with: The Exotic Lover (most of all) or the Carnal Lover, or the Suave Lover.



Congratulations!



If you enjoyed this test, I would love the feedback! Also, you might want to check out some of my other tests if you're interested in the following:



Nerds, Geeks & Dorks



Professional Wrestling




Buffy the Vampire Slayer




America/Politics





Thanks Again! -- THE LOVER STYLE PROFILE TEST

Take The Lover Style Profile Test at HelloQuizzy

Your result for The Perception Personality Image Test...

NBPS - The Idealist

Nature, Background, Big Picture, and Shape

You perceive the world with particular attention to nature. You focus on the hidden treasures of life (the background) and how that fits into the larger picture. You are also particularly drawn towards the shapes around you. Because of the value you place on nature, you tend to find comfort in more subdued settings and find energy in solitude. You like to ponder ideas and imagine the many possibilities of your life without worrying about the details or specifics. You are in tune with all that is around you and understand your life as part of a larger whole. You prefer a structured environment within which to live and you like things to be predictable.

The Perception Personality Types:

Take The Perception Personality Image Test at HelloQuizzy

The Hobbit

Okay, the opening lines are tacky as .... as.... anything that Tolkien would revile (sorry, guys, but seriously: Every End Has A Beginning!?! Come on.) But that said: Whoever thought of mixing the LOTR clips with Requiem for a Dream... is genius.

Here. You only decide.

Midnight

The stars are as soft as flowers, and as near;
The hills are webs of shadow, slowly spun;
No seperate leaf or single blade is here -
All blend into one.

No moonbeam cuts the air; a sapphire light
Rolls lazily and slips again to rest.
There is no edged thing in all this night,
Save in my breast.

Dorothy Parker
--------

First time I heard this: Watching Autumn in New York and watching Winona Ryder's hands sweep her glass bead curtains, swish swish this way and that. I couldn't find the poem anywhere, but the opening line stuck stuck stuck. I thought it was by Emily Dickson - because she was obsessed with Emily Dickonson in the movie. But I just found out that it's Dorothy Parker, and here's the complete version. So lovely. And at the last line, you feel whatever is stabbing her in one short sharp shock, all tinged with the blurry midnight blue she has painted. Lovely, lovely, lovely.

Consider the following set of rather illuminating statistics on the subject of crying, compiled by the Independent (see here). Apparently, the practice has theraputic effects second only to modern medicine. And here, evidently, is how 'we' go about it:

20% of bouts of crying last longer than 30 minutes

8% go on for longer than one hour

70% of criers make no attempt to hide their crying

77% of crying takes place at home

15% at work or in the car

40% of people weep alone

39% of crying occurs in the evening, the most popular time compared with morning, afternoon, and night (16, 29 and 17 per cent respectively)

6-8pm is the most common time for crying

88.8% feel better after a cry

47: average number of times a woman cries each year

7: annual number of crying episodes for a man.

--------------------

The last time I cried was this evening. I was amongst strangers (why is this SO conducive to honest displays of spectacular and soggy emotion?) and we were watching a documentary film. There will be no review here, because it is too recent, too raw and more than anything else, completely redundant. Those who will appreciate the experience, will find their way to it. Those who will not, will either never encounter it or come away as unscathed by the film as any possible review. Oh - and the documentary I'm on about is Tibet: Cry of the Snow Lion. Watch it with friends around you.

Anyway - so - I was watching it this evening. And at more than one point, I found tears streaming down my cheeks. And I realize now that I made no attempt to mop up, as it were. Now that I see the statistic (which of course, is subject to all the 1000 caveats that each definitive number is subject to), I am surprised at myself. For some reason, it seems shocking. I did cry in public - volubly sniffing and choking back further tears - and made no attempt to cover up.

On the other hand, as if by design, expressly for this post, M. came home after being a chance witness at a quite horrific sounding road accident. I hugged him and waves of (rather perverse?) relief washed over me. And not a small amount of misplaced but retroactive panic - are you really ok? What happened? Wait - you're sure YOU'RE okay? I felt the tears welling up. I choked them back immediately, gritted my teeth and just squeezed his hand and said 'I'm so glad you're safe.'

Hmm.

Because blogger cannot pfft....

... one will use it to announce:
1. Targeted CVs really kick serious butt
2. Wearing a coral coloured sweater to an interview might be regarded as risky in some situations, but when interviewing for a student-ambassador position, it works almost as well as the targeted CV.

i.e.

I got the job!!!!

(I applied for a job, I interviewed, I got it. Now be happy for me.)

Whine and the world whines with you. Grow up, and you're alone.

Grr pfffft humphh bof.

An indicative, though by no means exhaustive list of reactions from 'friends' re. Project Touch Stars:

- Drama Queen (hello! All I said was: "Hee!!! Do you know how amazing it is to be able to cook one dish sans having to hold fire extinguisher with one hand and frying pan in the other?!" - Because let's face it, if you've been cooking that way before, it represents.. dunnoo.. infinite improvement?!)
- Mad woman (In response to : Do you ever have moments when you wonder - wow: the world is, like actually, really fucked up?! And doesn't it make you mad as hell?!)
- Accha, good for you. ("I'm medidating twice a week." "Accha, good for you." "Hmm. What's with all the inspid responses?" "Dunno yaa... good for you.")

Here's a suggestion:
When you say, No really, tell me how you are, I haven't heard from you in ages. And I answer emphatically and tell you I've been doing tiny things that I love and I'm feeling nice about my life and myself, and I seem to be more resilient than ever, don't pfft at me.
I shouldn't have to be resilient to wet blanket friends, should I?

Here's a question, rhetorical as always, vague by necessity:

I am easily distracted.


I have not been distracted for two years.

Is a BIG chaotic distraction headed my way,
OR:
(Worse) Have I (*gulp) grown up??

Midweek (ahem!) restock.

Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.
- Marie Curie