Saturday, 25 February 2012

I want:
1. Two silk dresses with a digital prints of the sky. One of a day sky: blue with clouds. One of a night sky: Deep blue-purple with stars, stars, stars.
2. To be able to wear my ultra-pearl necklace. 8 strings of pearls (plastic, chinese, glossy.) In the office, they feel wrong. At home, they feel wrong. On a saturday walking through the market, they feel wrong. In a restaurant with my mum, they feel so right, I would never wear them there. I want to wear them!
3. To wear my nath.
4. To learn how to ride. I have wanted this for so long. I don't know why.
5. To make love all day and all night one day. Soon.

Fairy resting in the cold.
From here

Observed: Without changing anything at all except the background music, I've gone from crying helplessly to giggling uncontrollably to crying again to giggling again.

Friday, 24 February 2012

I pick up the phone.

There's a beeping coming from the other end.

I think: There's a faulty connection, or it's my father's heart.

Either way, there's a problem.

Wednesday, 22 February 2012

What I want to say

Something great happened today.
Something awful happened today.
Kiss me, a lot, please and make them both go away for a while,
I'm tired.
Instead, we will say: What's for dinner. How are you. Cold out? Water's hot! Fancy a tea? Goodnight, darling.
A cliche, but so what:
Today I have kept dry eyes through:
The news that my father is ill and in hospital and not doing well,
The fact that this came 8 weeks before a major international conference that I'm helping to organize,
The fact that I have a major report to write which is behind schedule and
Listening to my mother's tearful and panicked voice on the phone.

The fact that it has just started raining outside, after I've spent an hour straightening my hair with every heat-styling tool known to humankind, has made me burst into loud, passionate and completely juvenile-sounding tears.

Sunday, 19 February 2012

One year!

18th February, 2011.

I haven't even started recovering.