Why do you automatically assume it is about you having made a horrendous mistake/ fallen short/ not done enough/ not been enough??
It took four point something billion, long, jam-packed years to get here - and you think you have a single flaw? Mother Nature would put her hands on her hips and pout if you told her you thought that about yourself!
Can't you imagine that it is all about you, but hello! It's that you were enough (more than enough), you did not make the horrendous mistake and the universe is not trying to punish you for it. It is about you - about what is best, highest, deepest, truest, strongest - what you said you wanted, you're on your way to getting. So please if some of the cities inside you must be ravaged, some of the forests burnt to cinders, it's just the way it gotta be.
Quit whining. You're fine. Get on with it. Deal.