No kidding

If I wrote down some of the things my friends back home say over the phone, and gave the verbatim transcript to someone, they'd think I had just conducted a pyschiatric interview.

Evidence:

Me: So what's been up with you?
Her: No. Yah. I mean. Yeah. I know. It's good. But it could be really bad.
Me: *struggling to hold phone, pick up ciggies and leave the office. Sorry, what?
Her: You know, it could be good. But it could be bad.
Me (a bit alarmed): Has something happened?!
Her: No. I just meant that I.. I... em... (much hemming and hawing) I... I did something. And I dunno.... it could be bad.
Me: Right. I'm in the office at the moment, actually, so em... tell me what it is, quick, and then I got to work.
Her: Hee. Heehee. Oh. Hee. (followed by uncontrolled and sustained giggling).
Me (*slightly annoyed): Listen. I'll talk to you later, k? I'm in the office. Bye sweets, love you!
Her: But but don't you want to know what it is?!
Me (*to self): No, not really.
Me: (*to her): Well you seem not to want to just spit it out.
Her: Ok. Fine. I'll tell you.
*Pregnant pause.
Her: (a whole silent minute later). Nah I'll tell you when you come home.
Okie bye sweety I love you soooooooooo (*said VVVVEEERRRRRYYY loudly) much!!

I'd completely get this conversation if it'd come from someone whose tiny details I love to hear and who loves to hear mine. But this sort of tininess doesn't seem like 'the sweet little things of daily life' to me, it seems more like small-minded rubbish.
Bah.
Growing out of friendships, friends, and my skinny jeans.
So basically,
Am a bitch. And fat.
Yay.

Alternatively:
This is the kind of scattishness that is calculated to annoy. In which case, damn, she got me. Bah.