Kind of a year in, on good days when lots is going on, it kind of feels like:

I lost something big, or small, something crucial, but I can't remember what or when or how.
And importantly, like I don't know how to get it back.

Or:
Like my tummy is empty, but no, it's not my tummy, and it's not food that'll fill it.

So:
Empty, and lost, still.

Maybe I always felt this way, but now I have a good excuse.