Sunday, 27 May 2012

Something I am learning, sometimes painfully, sometimes with great joy

The people we really, really, deeply, love are a non-negotiable, non-returnable, non-transferable, instantaneous gift from a mysterious place that wishes us well.

How well we carry that gift - how we carry the love, and make ourselves worthy of it - is up to us. Just about.
But the gift itself - the person, the place, the time, the manner of your meeting and the instantaneous soul-alchemy that happens with the first look, the first touch, the first smile, sometimes the first kiss - is not up to you. And that's fine.  These sort of people, the deep friends, sometimes hurt me (and it's only these sort of people who can hurt me - with few exceptions, others do not cross enough thresholds to do much damage). And I fight against the impossibility of simply cutting them out of my life. I fight against the lack of choice - I could never ring them again for as long as I live. I would still think about them for as long as I live.
But I'm learning, painfully at the moment, to see beyond this. I have to, because I couldn't do without these people, or the lessons they present me, or the healing that happens around them, or the love that just flows from me when they walk in, or call, or when I think of them.

I guess, in a nutshell, what I'm trying to say is that: People will hurt you.  The people who love you most, the 'there is something special between us' people will not hurt you less, they'll hurt you more. Not because they want to. But because for some reason we cannot understand, they live inside our hearts, where things feel deepest. And when they hurt you, there's usually a lesson there. An important lesson you both need to learn. And your love will allow you to learn it, and heal from the learning, and keep going.

Say thank you for the people who you've recognized from the first glance as friends.
And do what you can with them and for them, as often as you can.  

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