Not that it's of the least interest to anyone, but an obscure demographic: The state of Maharashtra, in India, is the second largest sub-national entity in existence in terms of its population.
This is the perfect explanation for why, unless I extend this PhD into a ten year full time job at the head of a team of 20 highly trained and better paid researchers, I should be perfectly happy to smirk that I can actually cover one measly taluka.
------------------
Men are despicable.
No exceptions.
_____________
It's my mother's birthday today.
Also the anniversary of her mother's passing.
Generation 1 slipped quietly into heaven on this day. Generation 2 is celebrating life and love and inshallah, yet another year of happiness, health and joy. Generation 3 is wondering if there's a priceless life lesson embedded into this particular date.
But mostly, she's instinctively grasped it, methinks, because she lived today to the fullest, wished her mother a happy birthday from the bottom of her heart and vowed to keep 'waking up' in the middle of the day every day and appreciating how precious it is that her loved ones are alive, happy, well, safe, warm (mostly), and, well, that she has more than she can count on the fingers of one hand. Which is twice more than anyone's deserved share, and infinitely more than hers.
---------------------
Those silk cushions I mentioned in the last post?
One of them has turned into a spectacular success. She is a snow white square (particularly apposite considering that the whole of England is currently this colour), and with a large square of blindly brilliant glittery flat silver sequins on the front. She's sitting in front of the other cushions on my bed and heh heh, she single handedly lights the room. And doesn't come with an off-switch. Goody.
-------------------
Just to reiterate:
Men are despicable.
No exceptions.
(Except definitely Papa and perhaps the cat.)
Showing posts with label Project Touch Stars.. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Project Touch Stars.. Show all posts
Wednesday, 4 February 2009
Monday, 26 January 2009
Miss Tara's Manual of Household Management
1. Vacuum cleaners are useless. You have to use them anyway because they don't make home-type brooms in the god forsaken west (correct me if I'm wrong, PLEASE!! And send me one!) But after you're done, fill a bucket with scalding hot water, pour in some dettol, some floor cleaner (wear gloves; chemical burns are most unattractive. Ask me. I have two.) Get a piece of cloth and swab the goddamned floor. On hands and knees. Every single tile.
It's easier than you think. And it smells great. It fucks with your back.
Get a massage from Man after (or better still: get him to do it. Kick him if he misses large swathes.)
2. You actually have to clean your windows even if the blinds are always down. Otherwise, intoxicated by the success of swabbing exercise, you pull them up triumphantly to let the light in, and there's a dust storm that annihilates everything you've already cleaned. Most annoying. Clean windows first.
3. The person who scrubs the bathroom owns the house. This is non-negotiable. So make sure it's you.
4. If you do not water the plants, they die.
Have compassion. Stick them under the bathroom tap once in a while and say nice things to them as they drink. They flower better that way.
5. Recession chic: Get out the two kites you bought in the bazaar in N. Delhi SO long ago, and decide you will never fly them in the f.ing gales they get here, so bluetac them onto the bathroom wall just under the skylight. Since the bathroom is so small and they are so bright, you don't need anything else. Then throw saris over everything. Raani pink goes with: pista green, midnight blue, cobalt blue, peacock blue, bottle green, gold, silver, white, crimson, saffron... you get the idea. Make sure there are peacocks, elephants, lotus flowers and mango motifs on every iridescent piece of everything. Throw silk cushions over all chairs. (Pick these up, a pound apiece at the Evolution sale. And don't ask me to send; they're sold out, I bought them all.)
Light diyas everywhere.
Then get the Scot to lie back on the divan, thus embellished. Viola! Rajkumar in palace! Decor done!
6. Go have a long shower and tell the man you want dinner and a massage to be ready by the time you're out.
It's easier than you think. And it smells great. It fucks with your back.
Get a massage from Man after (or better still: get him to do it. Kick him if he misses large swathes.)
2. You actually have to clean your windows even if the blinds are always down. Otherwise, intoxicated by the success of swabbing exercise, you pull them up triumphantly to let the light in, and there's a dust storm that annihilates everything you've already cleaned. Most annoying. Clean windows first.
3. The person who scrubs the bathroom owns the house. This is non-negotiable. So make sure it's you.
4. If you do not water the plants, they die.
Have compassion. Stick them under the bathroom tap once in a while and say nice things to them as they drink. They flower better that way.
5. Recession chic: Get out the two kites you bought in the bazaar in N. Delhi SO long ago, and decide you will never fly them in the f.ing gales they get here, so bluetac them onto the bathroom wall just under the skylight. Since the bathroom is so small and they are so bright, you don't need anything else. Then throw saris over everything. Raani pink goes with: pista green, midnight blue, cobalt blue, peacock blue, bottle green, gold, silver, white, crimson, saffron... you get the idea. Make sure there are peacocks, elephants, lotus flowers and mango motifs on every iridescent piece of everything. Throw silk cushions over all chairs. (Pick these up, a pound apiece at the Evolution sale. And don't ask me to send; they're sold out, I bought them all.)
Light diyas everywhere.
Then get the Scot to lie back on the divan, thus embellished. Viola! Rajkumar in palace! Decor done!
6. Go have a long shower and tell the man you want dinner and a massage to be ready by the time you're out.
Monday, 29 December 2008
Sunday, 9 November 2008
Whine and the world whines with you. Grow up, and you're alone.
Grr pfffft humphh bof.
An indicative, though by no means exhaustive list of reactions from 'friends' re. Project Touch Stars:
- Drama Queen (hello! All I said was: "Hee!!! Do you know how amazing it is to be able to cook one dish sans having to hold fire extinguisher with one hand and frying pan in the other?!" - Because let's face it, if you've been cooking that way before, it represents.. dunnoo.. infinite improvement?!)
- Mad woman (In response to : Do you ever have moments when you wonder - wow: the world is, like actually, really fucked up?! And doesn't it make you mad as hell?!)
- Accha, good for you. ("I'm medidating twice a week." "Accha, good for you." "Hmm. What's with all the inspid responses?" "Dunno yaa... good for you.")
Here's a suggestion:
When you say, No really, tell me how you are, I haven't heard from you in ages. And I answer emphatically and tell you I've been doing tiny things that I love and I'm feeling nice about my life and myself, and I seem to be more resilient than ever, don't pfft at me.
I shouldn't have to be resilient to wet blanket friends, should I?
An indicative, though by no means exhaustive list of reactions from 'friends' re. Project Touch Stars:
- Drama Queen (hello! All I said was: "Hee!!! Do you know how amazing it is to be able to cook one dish sans having to hold fire extinguisher with one hand and frying pan in the other?!" - Because let's face it, if you've been cooking that way before, it represents.. dunnoo.. infinite improvement?!)
- Mad woman (In response to : Do you ever have moments when you wonder - wow: the world is, like actually, really fucked up?! And doesn't it make you mad as hell?!)
- Accha, good for you. ("I'm medidating twice a week." "Accha, good for you." "Hmm. What's with all the inspid responses?" "Dunno yaa... good for you.")
Here's a suggestion:
When you say, No really, tell me how you are, I haven't heard from you in ages. And I answer emphatically and tell you I've been doing tiny things that I love and I'm feeling nice about my life and myself, and I seem to be more resilient than ever, don't pfft at me.
I shouldn't have to be resilient to wet blanket friends, should I?
Sunday, 2 November 2008
A wonderful togetherness
Is effortless.
Like this:
You set the alarm for early morning and decide to go up the hill to the Spar, before sunrise, and get a takeaway coffee while the beautiful dreamless man (insomniac, incurable) wraps up his night. You picture walking up the street in the dark, sniffing out the coffee. You want to surprise the girl behind the counter: No, I'm waking up, not going to bed. You want to see if the homeless guy at the street corner is asleep and if he's not, you'd like to say hello. You fall asleep, dreaming of the day that's going to begin in this way, and you're awoken, half an hour after the alarm you slept through, to find takeaway coffee from the Spar steaming on your bedside table and those arms around you, waking you.
And you wonder:
How.
Like this:
You set the alarm for early morning and decide to go up the hill to the Spar, before sunrise, and get a takeaway coffee while the beautiful dreamless man (insomniac, incurable) wraps up his night. You picture walking up the street in the dark, sniffing out the coffee. You want to surprise the girl behind the counter: No, I'm waking up, not going to bed. You want to see if the homeless guy at the street corner is asleep and if he's not, you'd like to say hello. You fall asleep, dreaming of the day that's going to begin in this way, and you're awoken, half an hour after the alarm you slept through, to find takeaway coffee from the Spar steaming on your bedside table and those arms around you, waking you.
And you wonder:
How.
Thursday, 30 October 2008
I muse, therefore I am.
When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.
-Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist.
I remember when I first read this book. Cover to cover on a friends' bed in boarding school. Possibly the darkest time of my life so far, with the promise of happiness a very very faint glimmer far below the horizon. I'd like to think that this was one of the most beautiful things I encountered that year. And I didn't know it then, but I'd read and re-read this many many times in my journey from then to now. And I'd use it as a float, as a foothold in the rockface. As a tiny flame, trying to light a big enough fire to burn away the cobwebs, the dust, the rot that boarding school put into me. (Yes, it WAS that bad. No,I would NEVER do it again. Yes,I am glad I did it once. But once was f.ing enough.)
And having read it a hundred times since, and looking back from then to now, I can see crystal clearly, that it has not 'replaced' my thinking (I've always disagreed with that phrase. It neglects completely neglects how fluid the mind is), it has certainly given me a lens I would not have used before.
And that is:
If this is happening, forget for a second how uncomfortable it feels and ask yourself: What has made it happen? Why am I here, is there some magic I need to extract from this? This 'thing' is pushing me deep down, but can I use it to climb higher up? Can I, in other words, become an alchemist turning anything I can think about into gold?
Is alchemy simply understanding + imagination?
Hmm.
-Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist.
I remember when I first read this book. Cover to cover on a friends' bed in boarding school. Possibly the darkest time of my life so far, with the promise of happiness a very very faint glimmer far below the horizon. I'd like to think that this was one of the most beautiful things I encountered that year. And I didn't know it then, but I'd read and re-read this many many times in my journey from then to now. And I'd use it as a float, as a foothold in the rockface. As a tiny flame, trying to light a big enough fire to burn away the cobwebs, the dust, the rot that boarding school put into me. (Yes, it WAS that bad. No,I would NEVER do it again. Yes,I am glad I did it once. But once was f.ing enough.)
And having read it a hundred times since, and looking back from then to now, I can see crystal clearly, that it has not 'replaced' my thinking (I've always disagreed with that phrase. It neglects completely neglects how fluid the mind is), it has certainly given me a lens I would not have used before.
And that is:
If this is happening, forget for a second how uncomfortable it feels and ask yourself: What has made it happen? Why am I here, is there some magic I need to extract from this? This 'thing' is pushing me deep down, but can I use it to climb higher up? Can I, in other words, become an alchemist turning anything I can think about into gold?
Is alchemy simply understanding + imagination?
Hmm.
That song has seeped into my dreams!
Swept up in a wave of love, swirling love.
Turned around in my sleep this morning, early early early, and looked straight out the window. Pink tinged clouds and a bird, flying straight into them. For a split second the walls of the room, the frame of the window, they all disappeared and all I could see was the sky, that bird, the green of the vines and that pink, pink, pink. From somewhere within the cloud, the pink of a rising star. Inevitable, that rising. At least that is one thing.
And God said, Let There Be Light.
Turned around in my sleep this morning, early early early, and looked straight out the window. Pink tinged clouds and a bird, flying straight into them. For a split second the walls of the room, the frame of the window, they all disappeared and all I could see was the sky, that bird, the green of the vines and that pink, pink, pink. From somewhere within the cloud, the pink of a rising star. Inevitable, that rising. At least that is one thing.
And God said, Let There Be Light.
Tuesday, 28 October 2008
The perpetual student is going to be teaching a class next week.
On the same masters she did.
Points to note, of relevance when the jury's out and she's on tenterhooks:
1. She asked for this. Not in a mystic ask-the-universe kind of way. She took an appointment with the course supervisor and said: IWANTtoteachonthiscourse, please please please.
2. It is a masters course.
3. It is the first time she will teach.
4. She has gaps in her knowledge that you could drive a truck through.
5. Instead of filling these gaps, she is obsessing over the following:
- What to wear
- What colours should be on the powerpoint
- If skin looks simply awful on the day, will they think I'm more adolescent than they are?
- Does simply thinking in this way make me more adolescent than they are?
On the same masters she did.
Points to note, of relevance when the jury's out and she's on tenterhooks:
1. She asked for this. Not in a mystic ask-the-universe kind of way. She took an appointment with the course supervisor and said: IWANTtoteachonthiscourse, please please please.
2. It is a masters course.
3. It is the first time she will teach.
4. She has gaps in her knowledge that you could drive a truck through.
5. Instead of filling these gaps, she is obsessing over the following:
- What to wear
- What colours should be on the powerpoint
- If skin looks simply awful on the day, will they think I'm more adolescent than they are?
- Does simply thinking in this way make me more adolescent than they are?
Sunday, 26 October 2008
How to create the perfect writing table
- Warmth: 1 radiator positioned just under the table. Warms feet, overjoys the heart. Last house had no such luxury as heating.
- The view: 1 picture window directly in front of the table. It must open ALL the way in the summer, and be firmly shut in the winter: not a molecule of cold is welcome here. With a view of a quiet street (nothing to distract people-watcher type every two minutes), framed with baby blue neighbours' house and deep green vines from the neighbours garden (simplicity itself and all the more genius for it.)
- The light: 1 street lamp on the other side of the road. When it snows, it'll be like golden rain. When I'm thinking in the dark, it's a warm honey coloured friend who keeps it from getting scary- the darkness within and the darkness without. Warm table lamp with beautiful yellow light, gifted by The Man. Keeps the street light company. Together, the three of us, thinking in the golden dark.
- The friend: A pot of pink dahlias in the corner of the window. More foliage (are people who are indifferent to the sight of green leaves fundamentally disconnected from life??), more flowers. Something else that breathes, apart from me. Someone else to appreciate the heating.
- The hardware: One trestle table. Wide enough to be able to push the laptop to the very edge and type with elbows comfortably rested. Long enough that there's space for typing, writing, spreading out books (India After Gandhi, Pride and Prejudice); articles (Ecologically Effective Social Organization as a Requirement for Sustaining Watershed Ecosystems) and rough bits of paper, scrawled on in different coloured inks, splashed with every highlighter I could find in Staples. The perfect height, so I don't have to look down at the screen too much and my feet aren't jammed into the floor. The right chair - Spare, from the dining room table, padded with one pista green cotton cushion from Aldi and one rani pink silk from Mama.
- Peace, sweet peace and a cup of tea in my Eeyore mug.
- Food and spine tingling kisses in the next room.
Thursday, 23 October 2008
Thanks, Jamie!!
- Pick up one Feed your family (read: twosome who eat for a family) For a Fiver leaflet at Sainsburys. Preferably, pick the roast chicken one by Jamie Oliver.
It looks like this:
- Use turkey steaks instead of chicken, orange tomatoes instead of red (they're prettier in our baking dish) and marjoram instead of mixed dried spices.
- Serve with side salad of lettuce tossed with tonnes of lime and black pepper.
- Finish off with fresh strawberries.
- Go to sleep with a happy feeling in your tummy.
Woohoo!!
It looks like this:
- Serve with side salad of lettuce tossed with tonnes of lime and black pepper.
- Finish off with fresh strawberries.
- Go to sleep with a happy feeling in your tummy.
Woohoo!!
Sunday, 19 October 2008
Aha!!
So, I have been cooking up a storm in the kitchen these past few days. As part of major project to achieve multiple, mutually exclusive and singly unattainable goals, namely:
- Improve relationship (via improvement in general nutrition leading to feelings of personal loveliness leading to significant other noting personal loveliness leading to enhanced cuddle sessions leading to further feelings of loveliness and so on, in an upward spiral culminating somewhere in the stars.)
- Improve academic life (via improvement in general nutrition leading to better ability to sit in a chair and do menial earth-shatteringly large data handling and analysis jobs which require physical stamina!!, grit, determination, clenched teeth and nuclear amounts of energy, leading to stratospheric rise through academia and into above-mentioned stars.)
- Improve culinary skills (via improvement in ability to simultaneously cut, chop, blend, simmer sans singes, leading to acquirement (is that a word?) of basic life skill without which shall starve to death if currently used parachutes (mummy, tesco, bus pass, mobile phone) used to procure food all fail at once.)
- Improve general appearance of kitchen, which seems to work best, aesthetically, when in a state of semi-use (read: washing up done, no cooking at present). It is one of those rooms which, sadly, looks bereft and empty-classroom/train station-ish if you do not use it. So for aesthetic reasons, it must be used.
This project has gone exceedingly well so far.
I have cooked 3 meals, 4 breakfasts and miscellaneous toast-on-cheese sessions (not so good for objective number one, I must admit. )
I will be reporting on progress intermittently.
As proof that this project is in fact starting to show some results, I will report on some success in the area of objective 2: I was up, bright eyed and bushy tailed at 5:30 this morning, with the desire to open up laptop and start work!! On a Sunday! At 5:30! I ask you!! (No, it wasn't indigestion. Many many tins of probiotic yoghurt are being generously used to guard against said malaise.)
It appears, however, that I will need something more. Good nutrition might give one the required energy. However, so far, it has been gloriously mis-spent on blogger, facebook and other related peat bogs for the serious academic.
Ahem.
- Improve relationship (via improvement in general nutrition leading to feelings of personal loveliness leading to significant other noting personal loveliness leading to enhanced cuddle sessions leading to further feelings of loveliness and so on, in an upward spiral culminating somewhere in the stars.)
- Improve academic life (via improvement in general nutrition leading to better ability to sit in a chair and do menial earth-shatteringly large data handling and analysis jobs which require physical stamina!!, grit, determination, clenched teeth and nuclear amounts of energy, leading to stratospheric rise through academia and into above-mentioned stars.)
- Improve culinary skills (via improvement in ability to simultaneously cut, chop, blend, simmer sans singes, leading to acquirement (is that a word?) of basic life skill without which shall starve to death if currently used parachutes (mummy, tesco, bus pass, mobile phone) used to procure food all fail at once.)
- Improve general appearance of kitchen, which seems to work best, aesthetically, when in a state of semi-use (read: washing up done, no cooking at present). It is one of those rooms which, sadly, looks bereft and empty-classroom/train station-ish if you do not use it. So for aesthetic reasons, it must be used.
This project has gone exceedingly well so far.
I have cooked 3 meals, 4 breakfasts and miscellaneous toast-on-cheese sessions (not so good for objective number one, I must admit. )
I will be reporting on progress intermittently.
As proof that this project is in fact starting to show some results, I will report on some success in the area of objective 2: I was up, bright eyed and bushy tailed at 5:30 this morning, with the desire to open up laptop and start work!! On a Sunday! At 5:30! I ask you!! (No, it wasn't indigestion. Many many tins of probiotic yoghurt are being generously used to guard against said malaise.)
It appears, however, that I will need something more. Good nutrition might give one the required energy. However, so far, it has been gloriously mis-spent on blogger, facebook and other related peat bogs for the serious academic.
Ahem.
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