Snapshot.
Cotton harem pants, pink halter top. Barefoot on the garden steps, painting toenails. Red red red. Frangipani behind ear. Coffee cup steaming nearby. Watching sunrise, cat for company. Silent bluegreen screen of neem trees raintrees ashok trees peepal.
Somewhere in the haze at the back of my mind:
Damn it!! Where is M. when I've got languid-seductress just right?!
Thursday, 4 December 2008
Wednesday, 3 December 2008
A Sapling's Plea
Papa:
Why so impatient?
As a child when I laughed and screamed, I remember you lifting me into the air and throwing me into the clouds
Our joy shouted, screeched, swayed wildly into the sky.
Your branches always sheltered; but they also let light seep right in.
But now:
My roots should have growed deeper, you say
And the wild swaying and sashaying should have stopped
Your branches too large to toss in any wind,
you've grown above storms
but also far, far above me
Can't you see though.
I'm still light green and I still dance in the breeze.
Still free.
Won't you concede your peace just a little bit,
and dance again with me?
Why so impatient?
As a child when I laughed and screamed, I remember you lifting me into the air and throwing me into the clouds
Our joy shouted, screeched, swayed wildly into the sky.
Your branches always sheltered; but they also let light seep right in.
But now:
My roots should have growed deeper, you say
And the wild swaying and sashaying should have stopped
Your branches too large to toss in any wind,
you've grown above storms
but also far, far above me
Can't you see though.
I'm still light green and I still dance in the breeze.
Still free.
Won't you concede your peace just a little bit,
and dance again with me?
Tuesday, 2 December 2008
Today
This evening, I saw I saw:
- Two old friends. With the first one, she's the same, but we have changed. We still loved getting a cup of coffee. With the second, she's different, I'm different, we're different, I love coffee, she hates the stuff but we're soul sisters anyway and she is coming over after work to sit.
- 3 different levels of pink in one sunset: The light of the clouds furthest from the horizon - bleached pink ice against a pale mint sky. Then, the light of silvery fire painting the lower horizon. And much closer, much much closer, the golden flame of fuchsia coloured frangipani constellations clustered amidst thick swathes of shiny emerald leaves.
- My mother and father, sitting at the table, looking tired.
- My reflection in the mirror, looking like I have a long way to go before feeling as tired. So what's my excuse today?! :P
- Two old friends. With the first one, she's the same, but we have changed. We still loved getting a cup of coffee. With the second, she's different, I'm different, we're different, I love coffee, she hates the stuff but we're soul sisters anyway and she is coming over after work to sit.
- 3 different levels of pink in one sunset: The light of the clouds furthest from the horizon - bleached pink ice against a pale mint sky. Then, the light of silvery fire painting the lower horizon. And much closer, much much closer, the golden flame of fuchsia coloured frangipani constellations clustered amidst thick swathes of shiny emerald leaves.
- My mother and father, sitting at the table, looking tired.
- My reflection in the mirror, looking like I have a long way to go before feeling as tired. So what's my excuse today?! :P
Monday, 1 December 2008
Accounts
Total cost of food/drink/outings/transport/household expenses for the past one week in India: 0
Total expenditure of emotional energy: ∞
Total expenditure of emotional energy: ∞
Word(s) of the day
Lost to the English language, I believe, but fondly catalogued at The Phrontistery
Beat a path to it!
***************************
aeipathy n : continued passion; an unyielding disease.
filicology n : study of ferns.
inocciduous adj : of a star, never setting.
isangelous adj : equal to the angels.
igniparous adj : bringing forth fire.
ficulnean adj: of fig tree wood; worthless.
Beat a path to it!
***************************
aeipathy n : continued passion; an unyielding disease.
filicology n : study of ferns.
inocciduous adj : of a star, never setting.
isangelous adj : equal to the angels.
igniparous adj : bringing forth fire.
ficulnean adj: of fig tree wood; worthless.
Sunday, 30 November 2008
Two(?) solutions(?) to two(?) different(?) problems(?)
We need to consume! Show the bastards they haven't taken away our will to live (read: spend)
Versus
Dying of consumption (read: therefore, (we) "must now give way to a renewal of saving and investment. That's the best hope for economic recovery..."
********************************
Are these solutions or soothing ointment for a burn?
Are these two different problems or just aspects of the same one?
Are they problems or just natural outcomes of our globalised, interconnected, parochial global village?
Versus
Dying of consumption (read: therefore, (we) "must now give way to a renewal of saving and investment. That's the best hope for economic recovery..."
********************************
Are these solutions or soothing ointment for a burn?
Are these two different problems or just aspects of the same one?
Are they problems or just natural outcomes of our globalised, interconnected, parochial global village?
Saturday, 29 November 2008
An evening on the couch in front of the TV
NDTV 24X7. 14:38 GMT. Random questions raised by some of the news flashes on the bottom of the screen:
(On which, by the way, I think the words 'Breaking News' have been running for a record 3 days. Come off it now. Too much live news = no real new information.)
- Mumbai Police: Terrorists between 18 and 28 years old
When did the youngest start training? At 16? When did he start swallowing whatever poison so fills you with hate? At 15? 14? Younger? Was he born with it? Or just born into an inevitable trajectory? (And therefore, aren't we all complicit even if he is entirely to blame?)
- 183 dead, over 300 injured in Mumbai attack
It's not the number; it's the fact that there was a Finn, Israelis, Indians, Englishmen, Americans, chefs, karate teachers, a food critic, businessmen, students, doctors, lawyers, receptionists, commuters, backpackers, millionaires, wives, husbands, lovers, friends, relatives, with things to say and do and forgive and be forgiven for and people to meet and people to leave and travels to take, books to read, walks to take, a life to live. It was people who travel by over packed l0cal train to work and people who fly across the world for business meetings. It was people who grew up in small co-operative societies in quiet towns and people who had a silver spoon in their mouths all along.
People who never speak across the divide died in the same room.
183 people gone means an unknown number of individuals in 183 families grief-stricken and an unknown number of friends circles grief stricken. An attack of this nature means everyone with a TV, newspaper or pair of eyes is deeply unsettled. The dichotomy between 'direct' and 'indirect' effects seems too crass to make at this point. We can, however, say that we observe the insidious and sinister ripple, ripple, ripple that highlights the connections between us all.
- 'Terrorists planned to kill 5,000 people'
(I'm really not sure how they - either the terrorists or the media arrived at this figure, but I'm guessing it's just approximate?) One is too much. One terrorist giving up his or her (err.. curious - have there been any female terrorists?) life, one victim being robbed of his or hers - is too much.
- R.R. Patil / Mumbai Police: Terrorists had college ID cards
Ah, this pricks, for some reason.
*******************************************
MANJULA BAI: "This is all Pakistan's work, isn't it"
ME: "I don't know."
MANJULA BAI: "I do. It was written in the newspaper this morning."
I didn't ask, but I should've: What if my newspaper said otherwise? Would our newspapers fight? If the newspaper said it was actually little green men (ahem), would their faces suddenly turn emerald?
*******************************************
Vikram Chandra on a panel asking 'How we can win' against 'the Terrorists': If you were given a blank piece of paper, could you write on it, onetwothree, these are the things that we should do.'
Wow. Is there really one 'we' versus one 'them'?
My sister wants to know "...who are we REALLY fighting???"
Here's my list of things we need to change (not fight):
- Our own prejudices and pigeonholes
- Our purchasing decisions
- Our public services and infrastructure which are about as inclusive as the eye of a needle
- Our inferiority complex as a country: we can't even call this the worst attack we've ever suffered. We have to qualify it by saying it's "our" 9/11. We have to suggest that we have something like the US Department of Home Security because 'they' could 'successfully' prevent a terror attack since 9/11, so why can't we. They haven't fought terror, dudes, last inkling I had, they live in constant fear.
- Our tendency to point a finger at everyone but ourselves. We're a democracy. Ideally, this means rule of the people by the people for the people. An informed (not necessarily literate) polity. And above that, a concerned and united polity. A polity who cares sporadically will sporadically be shaken and shocked sporadically, their only option at that time being to throw their hands up and blame two constructed 'thems': the terrorists and the politicians. We're the polity in the politician. Pick a paper and read it and be curious enough to follow up stories that grab you. Volunteer, to teach someone to read. Smile at a stranger. Resist at every turn being reactionary (says a blogger), or angry before you're curious, or knee-jerk before you've considered what's going on and why. Change your mind every time you find yourself forcing someone into a pigeonhole just because of how they live, who they pray to or what they wear or what language they wear.
It's not easy, and I haven't done it yet.
But I have a feeling that no amount of money, guns, Homeland Security or NSG commandos can
protect us from our neighbours and vet our friends and flush our restaurants and give us a good night's sleep. We need to win this first in our own hearts and minds, even if they win battles against urban guerrillas in our hotels.
(On which, by the way, I think the words 'Breaking News' have been running for a record 3 days. Come off it now. Too much live news = no real new information.)
- Mumbai Police: Terrorists between 18 and 28 years old
When did the youngest start training? At 16? When did he start swallowing whatever poison so fills you with hate? At 15? 14? Younger? Was he born with it? Or just born into an inevitable trajectory? (And therefore, aren't we all complicit even if he is entirely to blame?)
- 183 dead, over 300 injured in Mumbai attack
It's not the number; it's the fact that there was a Finn, Israelis, Indians, Englishmen, Americans, chefs, karate teachers, a food critic, businessmen, students, doctors, lawyers, receptionists, commuters, backpackers, millionaires, wives, husbands, lovers, friends, relatives, with things to say and do and forgive and be forgiven for and people to meet and people to leave and travels to take, books to read, walks to take, a life to live. It was people who travel by over packed l0cal train to work and people who fly across the world for business meetings. It was people who grew up in small co-operative societies in quiet towns and people who had a silver spoon in their mouths all along.
People who never speak across the divide died in the same room.
183 people gone means an unknown number of individuals in 183 families grief-stricken and an unknown number of friends circles grief stricken. An attack of this nature means everyone with a TV, newspaper or pair of eyes is deeply unsettled. The dichotomy between 'direct' and 'indirect' effects seems too crass to make at this point. We can, however, say that we observe the insidious and sinister ripple, ripple, ripple that highlights the connections between us all.
- 'Terrorists planned to kill 5,000 people'
(I'm really not sure how they - either the terrorists or the media arrived at this figure, but I'm guessing it's just approximate?) One is too much. One terrorist giving up his or her (err.. curious - have there been any female terrorists?) life, one victim being robbed of his or hers - is too much.
- R.R. Patil / Mumbai Police: Terrorists had college ID cards
Ah, this pricks, for some reason.
*******************************************
MANJULA BAI: "This is all Pakistan's work, isn't it"
ME: "I don't know."
MANJULA BAI: "I do. It was written in the newspaper this morning."
I didn't ask, but I should've: What if my newspaper said otherwise? Would our newspapers fight? If the newspaper said it was actually little green men (ahem), would their faces suddenly turn emerald?
*******************************************
Vikram Chandra on a panel asking 'How we can win' against 'the Terrorists': If you were given a blank piece of paper, could you write on it, onetwothree, these are the things that we should do.'
Wow. Is there really one 'we' versus one 'them'?
My sister wants to know "...who are we REALLY fighting???"
Here's my list of things we need to change (not fight):
- Our own prejudices and pigeonholes
- Our purchasing decisions
- Our public services and infrastructure which are about as inclusive as the eye of a needle
- Our inferiority complex as a country: we can't even call this the worst attack we've ever suffered. We have to qualify it by saying it's "our" 9/11. We have to suggest that we have something like the US Department of Home Security because 'they' could 'successfully' prevent a terror attack since 9/11, so why can't we. They haven't fought terror, dudes, last inkling I had, they live in constant fear.
- Our tendency to point a finger at everyone but ourselves. We're a democracy. Ideally, this means rule of the people by the people for the people. An informed (not necessarily literate) polity. And above that, a concerned and united polity. A polity who cares sporadically will sporadically be shaken and shocked sporadically, their only option at that time being to throw their hands up and blame two constructed 'thems': the terrorists and the politicians. We're the polity in the politician. Pick a paper and read it and be curious enough to follow up stories that grab you. Volunteer, to teach someone to read. Smile at a stranger. Resist at every turn being reactionary (says a blogger), or angry before you're curious, or knee-jerk before you've considered what's going on and why. Change your mind every time you find yourself forcing someone into a pigeonhole just because of how they live, who they pray to or what they wear or what language they wear.
It's not easy, and I haven't done it yet.
But I have a feeling that no amount of money, guns, Homeland Security or NSG commandos can
protect us from our neighbours and vet our friends and flush our restaurants and give us a good night's sleep. We need to win this first in our own hearts and minds, even if they win battles against urban guerrillas in our hotels.
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